Ridiculously long post activate.
I'm going to go with LaCapitan and Ermine since neither of their sexual orientations are unknown and both have similar a theme of wanting to steal everything and have a good time.
For Cassandra Lilya, more commonly known these days as Ermine, it was just supposed to be another job. The client was just a foreign dame that was the head of some shadowy organization whose name was impossible to pronounce or spell. Ermine knew the type well. They had a whole army at their command to do their bidding for them, but for some reason were afraid to get their hands dirty, and so they would ask the independent thief to do the deed for them. Ermine didn't mind. The money was good. Ermine hadn't met her client in person yet, but she already had a pretty good mental image of what she would look like. Long hair that reached passed the shoulders in a cocktail dress of some kind with a matching purse and shoes. Ermine felt an ache in her heart as she remembered when she did her best to be the life of the party before she was caught by the Wraith. That life was completely behind her now. There was only the job. She was dressed in normal civilian wear, jeans and a T-shirt that was covered by a black leather jacket.
"Sorry I'm late. Or am I early? I don't really bother to look at clocks anymore, they're always wrong."
Ermine was instantly taken aback by the figure that had appeared before her. She had the longer than shoulder length brown hair and matching outfit that Ermine had envisioned, but instead of a rich socialite she was face to face with a woman dressed like a pirate captain. Ermine sighed. "Oh boy, a supervillain. Why are you still in your costume? The police will probably be here any minute."
The woman raised an eyebrow and laughed. "They will be here precisely in 10 minutes. The do gooders are busy with another matter. Trust me, I already practiced this. We have plenty of time. We'll just have to hurry."
Ermine raised her hands in protest. "What do you mean you practiced this?"
The woman pulled out a briefcase and opened it. "Explanations later. I want you to help me secure this object. Do you know it?"
Now it was Ermine's turn to laugh. "Yeah, I know this. It's the Blue Monkey Sapphire. It disappeared from this city years ago. No one knows where it went. Are you trying to tell me that you have found an object that has eluded the greatest of treasure hunters for years?"
The woman raised her index finger. "I have not found it. But I know where it has been, and I have a pretty good idea of where it's going to be? The police will be here soon. You will get the full sum of ten thousand gold coins...or dollars...or credits? I'm sorry, what's the correct currency for this time period? Doesn't matter. Do you want the job or not?"
At this point, every other customer in the restaurant had left leaving Ermine alone with this crazy woman. Under normal situations she would've said no to an idiotic job like this, but something was telling her that this was going to be an adventure like no other. "What the hell? I'll do it." She could hear sirens. It had been about ten minutes since this odd conversation had started. The mad woman had been right about that. At least she wasn’t quite as crazy as she appeared to be. “Cops are here. I’ll show you how to get out.”
The woman dressed as a pirate pulled out a small gadget of some sort. “That’s alright. We’ll be gone before they come in here.”
Ermine looked at the futuristic looking tool inquisitively. “Did you get that from Baron Blade or something?”
The woman winked. “Something, yes.” She pushed the red button on the device and both she and Ermine were taken out of the restaurant and into a very strange place.
Ermine could not believe her eyes. There were some very strange things in the world today, but this could easily top all of them. She was on a boat, a wooden boat that resembled a pirate ship complete with Jolly Roger flag, but there was no ocean or what even looked like the Earth. “Where are we?”
The woman laughed heartily. “I’m not completely sure to be honest. From what I’ve been told my ship, La Paradoja Magnifica, is sailing through the time vortex. We can go anywhere we want, provided it’s on the planet Earth. I haven’t exactly figured out how to go to any other planets yet. I really want to. I bet they have some awesome treasure worth stealing.”
Ermine took a deep breath. “Okay, so you’re a time traveller? Who are you exactly?”
The woman suddenly became very excited. “Oh yeah, I never told you my name. It’s extremely long and boring, so most people just call me La Capitan, or the Captain.”
Ermine stood there waiting for more. “That’s it? A title is not a name.”
La Capitan sagged her shoulders and hunched over a bit. “Fine, my full name is Maria Helena Teresa Fafila Servanda Jimena Mansuara Paterna Domenga Gelvira Placia Sendina Belita Eufemia Columba Gontina Aldonza Mafalda Cristina Tegrida de Falcon. Happy?”
Ermine pinched the temple of her forehead in frustration. “La Capitan will do just fine. Okay, so you’re a time traveler with a magic boat.”
La Capitan nodded her head. “Exactly, I’m a time traveler who stole a magic boat.”
Ermine thought about the earlier conversation she had in the restaurant that was now suddenly so much clearer. “I get it. You think the Blue Monkey Sapphire disappeared because you stole it. How do you know you’re the one who took it?”
La Capitan shrugged. “I don’t know, but I can try, and it would fit with history. Although the idea that changing history is bad is all nonsense. I’ve done it plenty of times without horribly catastrophic results.”
Ermine walked around the deck of the ship. “Where is everyone? A ship of this size would require a crew to maintain it, wouldn’t it?”
The enthusiasm and glee that seemed to fill La Capitan earlier was replaced with a distant seriousness. “It’s actually pretty easy. At least I haven’t had much trouble with it. Being in the time vortex for a long period of time starts to change you. Don’t worry, you should be protected. We’re not going to directly go through it like I did.”
Ermine looked into La Capitan’s serious blue eyes with her own. “You didn’t answer my question. Where’s the crew?”
La Capitan took the wheel and started turning it. “Don’t have one yet. The ship’s original crew ran away when it got caught in the time vortex. I’ve been by myself mostly. Which is fine. Being alone is awesome. There are some jobs you can’t do by yourself though.
Ermine felt a surge of pity for the mad woman. Ermine had also been alone for years, but she was used to it. She hadn’t relied on people since her family had been mugged when she was a little girl. “If we’re going to do this, we’re going to do it right. I need my costume. It’s in my apartment.”
La Capitan smiled brightly. “No! It’s over there.” She went around to the side and came back with Ermine’s orange costume complete with gadgets. “I went by your apartment before we met. I figured it would save us a lot of time.”
Ermine hastily grabbed her clothes from the mad pirate woman. “What? You went into my apartment. Do you have no respect for personal space and boundaries?”
La Capitan gave Ermine a genuinely confused expression. “No, I’m a thief, remember? Same as you.”
Ermine could not give a retort to that one. “Fine, where on this boat can I change?”
La Capitan waved her hand around as she returned to the wheel. “Anywhere’s fine. It’s not like there’s anyone around to peek at you.” She looked back at Ermine. “Although, you couldn’t blame anyone for trying could you?” Before Ermine could respond, La Capitan had returned to the wheel of her ship. “Hurry up! We only have about ten minutes of our relative time before we make it to our destination.”
Ermine felt a blush on her as she changed into her costume. It had been a long time since anyone had commented on her looks. Before her embarrassing capture by the Wraith, men had fallen over themselves to get her attention. Now, there was nothing. It had annoyed her, but getting complemented from La Capitan like that had brought another ache of longing for the old life that had been taken from her.
Ten minutes passed and Ermine returned fully decked out in her costume and gear. The ship was turning and was passing through what looked to Ermine like a giant hole filled with white light. La Capitan laughed maniacally as the ship approached. “Don’t worry. We’ll be fine.”
Just as she finished saying those words, Ermine looked up to a familiar yet different skyline. It was Rook City. She could recognize some of the buildings, but there was a lot missing. The Pike Industrial Complex was nowhere to be seen and the air seemed a lot cleaner than she remembered it being. La Capitan boldly stood next to Ermine and put an arm around her shoulder. “Here we are! Rook City, 1930. This is the night the sapphire supposedly vanished. Let’s go make history.” She pulled out the device that Ermine had seen earlier.
Ermine looked at it quizzically. “How exactly does that thing work?”
La Capitan struggled in her head for an explanation that would satisfy her companion. “It allows me to travel between two points, I put in the coordinates of where I want to go and it lets me travel between there and the La Paradoja Magnifica. It’s all sciencey stuff that’s hard to understand?”
Ermine tilted her head. “Are you some kind of genius then?”
La Capitan bit her lip. “I wasn’t originally, but then I flew through the time vortex unprotected. I mentioned before that it changes you. This is one of those changes. Sometimes I wonder if I’m entirely still human.”
Ermine placed a hand on her shoulder. “You look human enough to me. Only an idiotic human could dress like a blue pirate and think it’s cool.”
La Capitan shrugged off Ermine’s hand. “Pirates are cool, especially the hats.”
Ermine laughed at that, a good laugh she hadn’t had in too long. “Whatever you say. Let’s get this job done.”
La Capitan smiled as she pressed the button and the two of them were transported to the museum that was currently holding the Blue Monkey Sapphire.
With Ermine’s modern day equipment breaking in was easy. 1930’s security was a joke. She effortlessly and stealthily went through security snatched up the sapphire and returned to the entrance. La Capitan was waiting for her with a very disappointed look on her face.
“What’s the matter? We got the sapphire. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
La Capitan shrugged. “I guess, but it was all just too easy. I thought this would be more fun, more thrilling, you know?”
Ermine knew exactly what her employer meant. It was the reason she became a thief, the thrill of jumping off a building and breaking into an impenetrable safe. She had felt none of that thrill with this job. She raised the corner of her mouth in a sly smile. “You said time travel was flexible right? Who says we have to stop with the diamond?” La Capitan returned the smile and the two laughed maniacally as they reentered the museum.
The guards were completely surprised by the two mad costumed women who stormed in and just started pocketing or wearing everything they could. They were also stunned as they turned out to be physically no match for the thieves. The combination of La Capitan’s flawless skills with a cutlass and flintlock pistol quickly disarmed and disabled the guards. They were also unable to fight against Ermine’s smooth and perfect acrobatics as she literally jumped circles around them and knocking them out.
The women laughed as they ransacked the museum of all the treasures they could carry. They both heard sirens in the distance. Ermine readjusted her goggles as she slung a bag full of loot over her shoulder. “Cops in this era are slow.”
La Capitan pulled out her teleporter. “Time to go. Hey, that rhymed! Awesome.” She turned to Ermine for approval but was only met with a vacant stare. “Alright, off we go.” She pressed the button and the two women returned to the ship.
La Capitan quickly returned the La Paradoja Magnifica to the Time Vortex and as she did so both women could not stop laughing. When they were safely sailing the time stream, they dumped and took a look at their loot.
Ermine was looking at several rings and diamonds. “Did your file say anything about anything other than the blue monkey sapphire being stolen?”
La Capitan borrowed Ermine’s sly smile. “It will now. History changes all the time without people knowing it. It’s because of me most of the time, but still the river of time is a resilient girl and she finds a way to compensate for my meddling.”
Ermine put down the treasure she had been looking through. “The job was done. What about my payment?”
La Capitan looked around the boat nervously. “Oh yes, I promised you ten thousand of something…dollars wasn’t it? That sounds right.”
Ermine took the Blue Monkey Sapphire out of her pocket. “This will do just nicely. Well, there’s one more thing.”
La Capitan looked around the small pile of treasure they had amassed on the boat. “Take whatever you want. I’ve got plenty of treasure.” She had no time to react as Ermine grabbed her and kissed her solidly on the lips. After the kiss was finished, she stumbled around slightly. “Well, that was slightly…unexpected.”
Ermine continued smiling. “That’s all. That and the Sapphire are enough payment for me. You can take me home now.”
La Capitan shuffled her boots slightly on the deck of her ship. “You know, I’ve liked being alone, but it was nice having a companion along. You could come with me if you want. All of the treasures of the world across all of time could be yours for the taking.”
Ermine silenced the captain but putting a finger on her lips. “I think I’d like that, but I’ve got something to do first, an old score to settle. When that’s done, I’ll come join you on your boat, but till then I can’t.”
La Capitan’s eyes became sad. “I see. That’s alright.” She tossed Ermine a cell phone. “That phone has a direct link to my phone. You can always reach me no matter which time period I am. If you need me, give me a call, and I’ll come running.”
Ermine kept the phone and pocketed it. “Captain, do something for me will you?”
“What?”
Ermine put her hands on her friend’s shoulders and hugged her. “Don’t travel alone. Find a crew. Someone like you shouldn’t be alone.”
That was the last they said to each other. La Capitan dropped Ermine off at her apartment where a letter from Baron Blade that would change her future forever was waiting for her, and La Capitan went off in search of her own crew and her own place in history.