Board Game Sell Sheets

So I've been working on a board game design for a while, and am now at the stage where I'd like to start pitching to publishers. This means, in general, that I need a sell sheet, and having never done this before I'm not really sure what I'm doing, and thus would like to collect some feedback on the design before I present it to anyone. And I know there are other game designers here, as well as just a bunch of people who really like games (and, you know, >G), so I thought it would be an ideal place to collect some feedback! Here's the sell sheet  as it is right now:


Thanks!

Sorry, not a game designer so can't help you... but so very tempted to do cat facts to you.

Also not a game designer, but I noticed two things that caused a little mental disconnect for me:

• When you say "couples" it is not always clear whether you are talking about a pair of players (really just the first use) or about the individuals that make up a pair (as in the Unique Player Interaction bullet point). I would tend to change most of the "couples" to "partners" or some similar term that connotes an individual player rather than a group.
• The intro paragraph refers to a hoarder and a socialite while the Compelling Decisions bullet refers to a hoarder and a decorator. In the bullets, I would try to reuse terms established in the intro paragraph.

My big question reading this is just how the "neither competing nor cooperating" part is supposed to work. Does the game have winners, and if so, how many? My first guess was that there would be one socialite winner and one antique winner. But I think it's worth making that clear.

The "spousal discontent" part seems like the most unique part--it seems you're trying to capture a dynamic that I haven't seen captured. I was thinking about suggesting dropping the rest of the subtitle, but that seems like it's likely playing up the conflict a little much.

Your text is very nicely gender-neutral, and I appreciate that the two roles are not particularly gendered (particularly with the coffee+socialite combination). Is there a way to tweak the card backs?

Publishers are probably going to be worried about the "4, 6, or 8" player count.

I liked it.  I thought the parallel game structure was intriguing.  I have three thoughts to share:

1) The deer head image you use made me first think of hunting.  After reading a bit, I understood that it's meant to represent a hoarded hunting trophy, but there may be an image you can use which gets the viewer directly to the hoarding concept without the danger that they'll take one look and think it's a game about hunting.  An antique clock perhaps or something else like that?

2) The font you use for the title at the top, while appropriate, is also slightly difficult to read.  The font you use for the block text in the game's description is antique-looking but also easier to read.  Would it be helpful to find a font for the title which was similarly antique-looking but also easier to read at a quick glance?

3) I can easily imagine a win condition for the hoarder (hoard the most stuff) but I can't figure out what a socialite would do to win a game like this.  Hold a party?  Don't know if it would be helpful to describe those in the text so the reader gets a solid feel for how the game is won.

A quick Google for examples of other boardgame sell sheets shows me that yours looks as good as the others and better than some, IMO, so well done.

Also, well done on the game's title.  I like the double meaning, with hoarding and marriage vows.  Smooth. :)

Thanks for the feedback, folks, is really helpful

Yeah, I’ve tried really hard to avoid gendering what are very gender-able roles. What do you see as wrong with the card backs?

The image seems to be broken now, at least for me.  I was able to view it this morning.

EDIT: it's probably my stupid work flrewalls blocking the image.  Ignore me.

Probably that it's really clearly a male/female couple in silhouette.

I'm intrigued by the gameplay and also curious if there are/what are the win conditions.

Yes, I was referring to the male-female couple in the card backs.

Someone else just asked about sell sheets on BGG. You seem to have done your research a lot better than them.

https://boardgamegeek.com/thread/1767051/sell-sheet

… I’m very interested to see what feedback you get, as I’m at the point of making up a sell sheet, too.

There are a number of Facebook groups set aside for specifically this sort of inquiry, including one that does a monthly rules exchange/revision.  Drop me a message (or just friend me on Facebook.  I'm pretty sure I'm the only Andy Klosky on there.) and I can link you.