I have a plan

You're trapped in a place of your choice. The enemy knows your location and is closing in on you. You must protect your useless love interest and your useless child or animal sidekick. What do you have at your disposal? How do you use it to escape your enemy's clutches?

That's only 12% of a plan.

12% is Better than 11%

Not as good as 1/8th of a plan, though.

I'm in a well-stocked chemistry lab, with plenty of ice, acids, and organic solvents.

Flash paper, drano bombs, thermite, and magnesium flares commence (among other pyrotechnics).