PY
Pydro
2014-10-28 15:02 UTC
#1
Recently, I have found jokes to be too long, and I just want them to get to the punchline already. So, I figured I would start a thread that only has punchlines. I’ll start:
To get to the other side.
Recently, I have found jokes to be too long, and I just want them to get to the punchline already. So, I figured I would start a thread that only has punchlines. I’ll start:
To get to the other side.
Pink Freud
"You man the guns. I'll drive."
No, these are my feet.
“The Aristocrats!”
I love how meta this one is, google “The aristocrats joke” for an explaination
"How do you think I rung the doorbell?"
"To whom."
This is still too long for me, I'm shortening mine to just the last letter of the punchline.
z
… and Christopher said “suit yourself!”
Good thing I have BigFeet.
And then I stabbed the guy.
And that's how you get ants!
Because the rest don't exist.
A Meanderthal
Whatever God wants, he keeps!
Because you can't see them!
Because if I tell you that, you'll go to my house and steal my laundry.
Guise and Dahls.
I've always had these.
And that is how we know the world to be banana-shaped.
It's a cereal.
"Good!" says the duck. "Got any grapes?"
… which would explain why there was even a wreck in the first place!
Where they'll be no tribble at all.
For you no charge
MOO!
And then that's when I said to put it into the refrigerator.
Two in the front, two in the back.
Who else is having fun recognising/working out the jokes behind the punchlines?
789
I'm snickering at the ones I recognize, but not researching the ones I don't.
"But good, but good!"
Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
Hans that do dish are as soft as Deface, with mild blue hairy lipped squid.
I recognize a few. I recognize “but it’s good!”, got any grapes, the rest don’t exist, 789, Hugh can prevent florist friars (whose line ftw), two in front, two on back, Moo, to whom, and suit yourself.
My earlier one, about the crash, was a continuation of the rest don’t exist, assuming I’m thinking of the same joke.
Anyway, have done more.
And the priest said, " will we have time?"
And Nyquil stopped the coffin
Purple elephants don’t exist
There’s a mini-Cooper parked outside
To which Descartes replied, “I think not!” and vanished in a puff of logic.
They think I’m nuts!
I don't know, but it's drivin' me nuts!
I can give you some cream for that.
YARR, it’s drivin’ me nuts!
Nah, I’m a frayed knot.
Lad, I don't know where you've been, but I see you've won first prize!
You found Pascal.
"Well, it be the first day with me hook..."
A talking muffin!
Since I just got back from Australia:
A stick!
I heard this one recently.
"Fine! Suit yourself!"
Which reminds me of a completely different one:
A stick!
The crazy thing is I know what both of you are talking about!
because when you throw an ordinary meringue......
A pig like that you don't eat all at once.
He was hit by three falling koalas and a fridge.
Heh, I know both of those stick ones!
Beethoven's Last Movement
Eeewwwww!!!
Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!
dies
Shouldn't you be only half dead?
Not if I already know the non-punchline bit.
Zwei peanuts vere valking down ze strassen und vun vas assaulted. Peanut.
Well in the vein of people dying.
In the Dead Centre of town.
"This is a lighthouse. Your call."
And the blonde yelled "Potatoes! Potatoes!"
"In the unlikely event that that thar go-rilla shakes ME out of the tree... shoot the dog."
(Best delivered in the thickest Southern US drawl you can imagine.)
You idiot! No one can eat that much ice cream!
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Wow, look at that S car go!
This account!
Admin edit: This account is in no way associated with an incredibly handsome and intelligent ginger.
Bearded Admin edit: But this account might be associated with Craig. (It isn't.)
"Don't make me knock! What have we come to if you make me knock?"
Uh...it's icecream.