Non-existent variants that would have weird, meta unlock conditions

This is just an exercise in silliness, but it occurred to me that the trouble we’re having with some of the Void Guard unlocks could just be because the conditions are absurd.  Now, I don’t think that the unlock for Super Sentai Idealist is “Play a multiplayer game with the Void Guard.  Each player must type “Void Guard!” into chat within 30 seconds of the game being started.”  But then the question occurred to me- what sort of weird, meta unlock conditions could be done in the video game, and what hypothetical variant could they work with story-wise?  Here are some I came up with:

Renegade Chrono-Ranger: Play a game in Rook City where rewinding and taking a different action prevents at least 1 hero from being incapacitated.

Blade-Bot Luminary: Lose a game against basic Baron Blade.  At the end of the game, have at least 50 decisions set to repeat all game.

Time Management Guise: Spend 10 minutes with Guise’s hands on your screen in one game.

Trivia Host Wager Master: Play a multiplayer game titled with either “Freedom Five,” “Prime Wardens,” “Void Guard,” or “Dark Watch.”  Use those variants for that team during that game.

I don’t know how much information an app can draw from a phone but if we are getting silly-meta:

Inverseiverse Variant Collection (smartphone/tablet only): Win a game with screen orientation locked and your device upside-down.

Christopher and Adam variants for Citizens Hammer and Anvil: Lose to Hammer and Anvil (team version) in St. Louis.

Xtreme Xtreme Argent Adept: Play a game with Xtreme Argent Adept.  Every time you use the Rebel Yell power (must be at least once), actually scream.

Wait…everyone else doesn’t already do this?

I can just see it now:

Version 3.4 release notes:

• Completionist Guise is now available to be unlocked!
• Added permissions: Camera, microphone, accelerometer, peripheral detection, keep screen alive, access your contacts and messages....

When Guise was added in the first place we considered adding "throw your hands up and yell woo" detection.

Bethegate Nightmist:  Use Mistbound on Voss.  Then in a game in the Enclave of the Endlings, use Mistbound on Baron Blade.

              Power: Remove Nightmist and her deck from the game.  Swich to a varient version of another hero.

(Sorry I know still too soon :(  so I need a more rediculus one)

Captain Planet Naturalist: Play a game with Akash'Threa, Ra, Sky Scraper, Tempest and Dr. Medico in that order.  Use the following powers in one round: Earth's Atunement (earth), Blazing Tornado (fire) Concusive Clap (wind) Cleansing Downpour (water) Universal Doner (heart).

             Power: Remove Professor Polution from the game.

Akash'Thriya*